Two Arrows
and a Bear
The ancient science of suffering well
Two Arrows is a philosophical tool that has been around for thousands of years. Thinking this way can greatly reduce your suffering.
The Buddhist parable of the Two Arrows says that when a person suffers, they are feeling the pain from Two Arrows. The first arrow is the injury itself, such as a broken leg. There is real physical damage to tissues and this causes physical pain. The second arrow is the worry that comes with the first arrow, such as 'I've got no sick leave left. How will I pay the rent?". Often the pain of the second arrow is worse than the first.
Buddha taught that when the first arrow comes your way it cannot be avoided. The second arrow, though, is under our control. If you accept the broken leg and choose not worry, your suffering is halved. Buddhism and Mindfulness focus strongly on the concept of acceptance as a means of reducing pain and suffering.
With FND your real physical neurological symptoms are the first arrow. The second arrow is your mental pain from the anguish, disappointment and guilt.
If the rent is due and you can't pay it because you are sick - that is a real worry that needs addressing. But often our worry is pointless and debilitating. We can learn the skills we need to set these pointless worries down. Keep asking yourself, which arrow am I suffering and can I set this suffering down now?
If you want to learn more about this, please look at the section on Mindfulness. This involves mind gym exercises that improve your ability to control your thoughts and find peace. The scientists have shown it works. It's easy to learn when you are taught properly. The courses are free.
FND and the bear
It's hard to accept this bloody awful illness. This is especially so if somebody else has hurt you somehow and your trauma has resulted in FND. This really isn't fair. Nevertheless, fighting against it makes it worse.
The parable of the Two Arrows separates the two halves of suffering. But in the case of FND, the two arrows are linked. The second arrow feeds back and makes the pain of the first arrow worse.
Fighting against this illness stresses your nervous system and triggers symptoms.
Imagine an angry bear stuck in a gin trap. The more the bear fights, the deeper the teeth bite into her flesh, the tighter it holds, the weaker she becomes, the more pain she feels.
The bear needs to stop thrashing and breathe, lower her heart rate, make a plan and wait. In time the wound heals, pain goes and the swelling reduces enough for her to slip her foot out of the trap.